Healthy men love women. They bask in their beauty, softness, submissive attitudes, sexy curves, knowing glances, playful banter, and pleasant radiance.
There is nothing I enjoy more after a hard day of work than to sink in to a beautiful woman’s feminine charm.
They enhance life.
But, they do not make up the reason for existence, nor take up most of my energy, and definitely do not control my major decisions.
For a period of time they did. Girls were the main focus and I was not happy. My thoughts were muddy. I was unsure of myself and my decisions, and this left me confused.
Instead of coming up with a solid plan and goals for the future, I was left floundering, frustrated, and drunk at night wondering why girls wouldn’t approach me and say hi.
It was a shitty and disheartening way to live. The lack of women and sex led to overeating, overdrinking and a low sense of self-worth.
There was no real reason for it because my life was relatively successful and I was completely self-made.
I had a good job that I loved, was living in the exact place that I wanted to in NYC, had graduated from a top tier University, traveled the world, and been successful in many endeavors…yet there was no fulfillment.
It was ironic that at the point where I had what every man was ‘supposed’ to have, I was at my worst. That nice job, a place to live, and security didn’t mean shit.
My spirits were low and my mind and body were soft.
Once I stumbled upon couchsurfing and game, the obsession was still there but now I was experiencing more success. I had to have as many women as I could…and I did. The new powers that came with tricks of game and overcoming social anxiety were addicting.
But they were still mostly surface tricks, ways to entertain women for just long enough to sleep with them, and then move on for some more. The true self confidence wasn’t there yet.
Because women were the main focus. I hadn’t moved on to my true calling.
Its something every man has to find in his life or else he will never feel complete.
In the beginning, growing up, my vision was clear. As a youngster, I wanted to live by myself in the forest and spent most of my free time building forts, starting wars with neighbor kids, climbing trees, and exploring.
As a teen, I wanted to become a professional snowboarder/skateboarder. I worked my ass off, won some competitions, had sponsors and was obsessed with becoming the best.
Then my leg broke when I was 17 and I couldn’t walk for 8 months.
During that time, my focus shifted to education. My lifetime obsession with reading caused those 8 months of being laid out to feel like paradise where I could study the things I wanted to learn all day, every day.
At University, my focus was learning as much as I could about everything.
Travelling and wanting to see the entire world gave me another obsession.
In my early 20s, I also became fascinated by spirituality. My choice to remain celibate for two years was in order to channel every ounce of energy into spiritual growth and I had a glimpse in to the power of the soul.
My mid 20s were spent on the road, selling my art and trying to survive while seeing as much of North America as possible.
Girls were always sprinkled in during those times (sans my celibate years) but they came to me because of my lifestyle, focus and drive to accomplish things.
After finally settling in to a career, I was at a point where I wanted women, but couldn’t meet them outside of social circles.
At one point, I started dating a girl from work who I didn’t even enjoy being around that much, I only dated her because she provided regular sex.
This was a difficult time and I knew that something was off. My thinking was skewed, the anxiety I experienced was holding me back from really living.
After I broke up with her (because she wanted to move in with me), I was back to square one. Wandering the bars, hoping that some how I would ‘get lucky’ and a girl would start talking to me. A couple did and they led to dates which led to sex and I thought that was pretty good.
I fucked a couple of other girls from work and thought thats how life was….having sex every couple of months because you just ‘get lucky’ sometimes.
A friend of mine had recommended couchsurfing to meet people and make connections around the world. I did and became obsessed with it because of the ease of meeting women. Not just any women…females from foreign places who were true beauties and outclassed most American girls by a long shot.
It was great for the time being, a girl would be delivered to my doorstop without me having to approach her, see that I had lived an interesting life, fuck me, stay for a few days, and leave.
After a blissful year of this, reality started to check in (and couchsurfing started to go down the tubes in quality). I was meeting these girls and they would get to know me and want to have sex…but the only way I was meeting them was through the computer.
This was not how I wanted to go on. I wanted to be able to go out around New York City and introduce myself to the numerous beauties that abound in the streets and venues.
Couchsurfing had proven to me that women were attracted to me, but I relied on the first meetup through the computer. It was driving me insane.
One night, after smoking a blunt and staring in the bathroom mirror at my bloodshot eyes, some moments of clarity came.
I had to make a change, life was supposed to be getting better, not worse, and if I didn’t do something about it, something bad was going to happen.
The next day I planned out a roadtrip through the deserts of the southwest and a few weeks later boarded a plane to Vegas.
On that trip, I also relied on couchsurfing to get laid and on the last night, upon returning to Vegas, I went out with a friend and could not muster up the strength to approach any girls.
Back at the hotel, blazed out, after a month of traveling and still not finding an answer, I Googled ‘how to pick up girls’ and began to learn the ways.
Fast forward through a couple hundred girls, a wonderful LTR, and a return to playerdom, and I finally see the light.
It started to get very bright last year and now my vision is clear.
Life is about experiences. The good ones, the bad, the crippling, ones of recovery and ones of change.
Thats what gives me strength and excitement for the future. The knowledge that whatever happens will provide for an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to become a better man is a major source of fuel for this fire.
Women are fantastic, wonderful complements and sometimes there is nothing I want more than a beautiful girl in my bed.
But taking in the world, seeing what it has to offer, and really keeping your eyes and ears open brings a hell of a lot more meaning than being blinded by lust all of the time.
Speaking of experiences, I’m just a few hours away from boarding a plane to Los Angeles and tearing it up with Christian McQueen.
We are also going to be working on some really fun projects that we hope to share with our readers. Stay tuned for that shit.
Another part of the agenda is to burn down to the desert in Joshua Tree and enjoy the beauty of Nature while eating mushrooms. Oh yeah.
I’ve also got something planned out for the Fifty Shades of Grey premiere in Hollywood, that should prove something hilarious. It will be filmed:)
Looking forward to this next trip like never before. The experiences and adventures shall be of epic proportions.
The post was inspired today from the comments guys on McQueen’s forum left about reading my book, Go Forth.
*Read them here.
Yes, there is a lot of sex in the book, of course, but I wanted the spirit of the story to capture a celebration of life by becoming inspired by experiences, things, and people.
From the sound of it, I succeeded on that end.
Adventure, excitement, tight game, disappointment, and triumph, all wrapped in a spiritual journey that sucks you in and doesn’t let you go.
It was kinda like Hank Moody does Mexico, wandering aimlessly but with focus, totally unassuming, stumbling into drugs and debauchery, I fucking loved it.
Goldmund’s adventurous outlook and genuine connection with the world around him – people, creatures, nature – has given me a bit of new life and released a pent-up perspective that was there all along. It’s going to launch me forward into the next chapter of applying game into my reality.
I’m glad to see guys that see the world as beautifully as they did when they were a child.
The story where you went out with the fisherman and swam with the sea turtles, I felt excitement and my pulse quickened. Your willingness to engage in whatever life throws at you is contagious.
Adventuring like this in another country is rarely written about. It seems that most books (and people) stick to either exclusively traveling for sights or just for sex, so its great to hear a story that combines adventures and fucking hot girls.
Goldmund’s story wasn’t the only contributing factor, but when it’s late at night, and I see a hot girl in a bar…sometimes I imagine a voice saying one word to me: “Adventure.”
To read about adventures that turned someone in to an actualized player, buy Go Forth.
*I am a guest speaker at a ‘gentleman’s club’ for troubled young men (18-22) in my community, and today, after finding out that one of them went to jail last night for robbery, told the team to write down 10 things that they didn’t want to happen to them in the next 10 years.
Check out this gem: