The Drugs I’ve Done and What They’ve Done For Me

I love it when people assume I do a lot of drugs.

“Its obvious through your writing that you smoke a lot of weed” always gives me a laugh.

The truth is, I’ve experimented a lot, but don’t partake often.

The area of New York I grew up in had a very strong marijuana culture and I was a semi-regular smoker, 2/3x a week from age 16–19, and a couple times a month until the age of 24.

Other than that, I didn’t touch anything harder (except peyote) until after the age of 28.

And thats what I would recommend. Wait until you know who you are until tampering with anything that has the potential for addiction or can send you spiraling into a psychotic episode.

I’m not condoning the reckless use of drugs, but I’ve been asked about it so often, I want to share my experiences and describe what can happen when you use chemicals to experiment rather than escape.

**Having a platform like this one is great because I can say whatever I want without concern of being censored because of edgy content. Its extremely rare to find honest writing on drug use from someone who isn’t a pathetic burnout or a wimpy little nerd.**

I’ll start in order with the chemicals I’ve tried first.


Weed affects me more than it does others–a major reason why I took so well to it when I was young.

It was the only thing that took me out of a depressive state and pushed me to experience more in life.

Pot was a huge motivator. I felt things more intensely, music sounded better, I could relate to books on a deeper level, understood artistic purpose, and became more focused and creative.

As a teenager I was part of a locally sponsored skateboard/snowboard team and would smoke before competitions because it made me perform better.

Conversations with good friends were more meaningful, my appreciation for Nature was stronger, and there was nothing better than smoking a blunt and going surfing all day in a late August Atlantic.

The fun lasted until my early 20s, and then marijuana started having the opposite effect and making me tired and lazy.

So I cut it out of life almost completely.

Most of the time I accept when offered, and make sure to keep it limited to a couple of hits, but in no way does it get much thought anymore.

A few months ago, I was out with a beautiful Russian girl and she gave me some edible candied THC. Holy shit, I got so high I could barely speak.

“I’m sorry, I would usually be telling stories and asking questions that got in your head and turn you on, but I can’t do anything right now.”

Then when I kissed her, I didn’t feel a damn thing, it just seemed weird. I told her that it was time for me to leave I wasn’t going to be eating anymore edibles anytime soon.

Pot is a lot different nowadays because there are so many varying strains that effect you in different ways. Some get me talkative as a motherfucker, others make me feel such a body high that I can fuck for hours and have the most intense orgasms of my life.

Now that its become decriminalized in most places–the ‘cool’ factor has dropped considerably.

Mystery Aboriginie Smoke

I spent four months living in the Rainforest in the Atherton Tablelands  in Australia, and while there, I worked with some Aborigines.

When they found out I was Native American, they invited me over to their camp one night and we smoked something that got me so high that when I looked up at the Southern night sky, the stars and constellations were dancing around and playing out all of Human history in vivid images.

The stars projecting movies combined with and old woman telling stories, staring into my eyes and predicting that one day I would grow my hair long and ‘wake up’ took me for a trip that had me thinking hard and I isolated myself for the next two days to be on my own in the rainforest.

I never did grow my hair out long, but the sincerity in that woman’s voice still haunts me.


Rebuilt myself from the ground up right when I needed it the most.

Imagine having your entire sense of self taken away from you and then seeing the world be painted around you inch by inch while you find your proper place in it.

The most helpful thing about losing yourself completely and then returning is the sense that you can accomplish anything afterwards.

Peyote did that for me when I was as lost as I’ve ever been and presented a clear path to follow. It also showed me which tools I needed to start the work I was meant to do.

It is no joke either, I threw up a lot, rolled around in the dirt, and thought that a dog was a messenger from God.


I always thought it was overrated and didn’t understand how people could get addicted to it. The coke in New York, and most of the United States is like having a few strong cups of coffee and nothing more–sure it kept me partying a little longer, but there wasn’t much more effect.

Then I had some pure uncut powder when I was in Peru and holy shit did it go to work.

It was awesome, and made me realize how it can be addicting.

Laser focus, unlimited energy, and confidence so high that I could read people’s minds.

I was out all night long, yapping my face off to anyone in my vicinity, and then felt great in the morning.

I haven’t come across stuff that good since Peru, but end up around cheap coke in New York so often, its lost most appeal.


Pure MDMA is hard to find, but if you can get it, I would highly recommend doing it with someone you know well.

The sense of inner peace and euphoria that is possible while on it is something beautiful to experience.

The bond you have with someone becomes so strong and real that you want to burst with joy.

I’ve done it with a girlfriend I was living with, and a close friend that I grew up with and both times were completely different, but extraordinary.

Other times, I’ve ran around feeling like the star of a movie, dancing with every cell of my body feeling the music, and spitting perfect game.

**One of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever slept with was met while I was on MDMA and is described in detail in Art of the One Night Stand.

Highly recommended if you have access to the good stuff.


I’ve only done it twice, one time is well documented here, but both experiences were pretty useful and not as intense that I thought they would be.

Acid was interesting because even though it can get very intense and you can go deep, it can be controlled with proper breathing and focus. I never felt like I was out of control, but rather could control how hard the trip was getting.

Very refreshing, and another ‘friendly’ drug where you don’t have any side effects to worry about.


Changed my life completely, healed some ancient wounds, made me aware of others, pushed me to share my knowledge/experiences and start this blog.

You go deep with ayahuasca, much deeper than anything else listed here, and you do not go for fun.

It is a major medicine for the soul, and you will confront serious personal issues–things you most likely have not realized were affecting you so much.

And when ayahuasca makes you aware of spiritual baggage that is holding you back–your body reacts by purging violently and going through tremendous amounts of pain.

You will most likely go to war with your mind, but its a necessary battle that you can emerge from as a much stronger person.

I’ve written more about ayahuasca in articles listed here.

San Pedro

A cactus that grows all over South America and Mexico.

Slices of it of it are boiled down in water which makes it easy to drink and allow the mescaline to take effect.

You drink in the morning on an empty stomach and should be out in Nature.

At first, it makes you feel a little drunk and woozy, and then it connects you so strongly to your surroundings that you see divine beauty in everything Natural.

The first time I drank, I went on a quest to find a waterfall.

When I got to the falls, I sat down in front of them for the next three hours and basked in pure energy and delight. I returned back to camp and my senses were amplified for days.

Use San Pedro if you need a strong sense of grounding and a renewed appreciation of life/Nature.


If there was one plant I could make everyone do at some point in their life, it would be Psilocybe Cubensis.

Out of everything I’ve described above, mushrooms give you a little bit of each, and have the potential to take you very, very deep.

I can’t really say enough good about the power of mushrooms–they can cause you to have an intense connection with someone, dig far enough into yourself so you are able to recognize hindering faults, give you an appreciation of life in ways more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

And a cool thing about them is that you can eat a handful in the morning, have some major revelations, and then be back to normal by the afternoon.

Mushrooms are a true gift, and should be used by anyone with a sense of curiosity and a willingness to explore parts of themselves that are buried deep.

I haven’t messed around with many prescription meds and don’t think they are worth discussing here.

The ones above have all had some sort of interesting effect and have helped teach me things about life and myself that I would have not realized before.

As long as I still gain the benefits from using drugs while keeping the right attitude, (experimenting/learning rather than escape), I’ll continue to dabble with expanding my mind in new ways.

Next up is pure DMT.

**I’ll be speaking about some of these experiences, especially about Ayahuasca, during the 21 Convention this September–go here for more info and tickets!**

About Goldmund

Goldmund grew up a wild-child and was constantly being disciplined. Using ancient rituals and game, he broke free from the shackles of his mind and the norms of this backwards society. He frequents bars in Brooklyn, mountains in Mexico, and retreats to the desert. His passions are nature and women.

7 comments on “The Drugs I’ve Done and What They’ve Done For Me

  1. I smoke weed regurly. I can bike 29 mikes, swim 5 mikes and soar at juijtisu and kickbox all while high as hell. It’s like cocoaine to me. I had my coke days a long time ago. Never liked it. I like mushroom chocolate better than actual stems and caps.

    • Hey, if it works, do it up. I used to have great work outs after blazing up and really feeling my muscles pump.

      And yes, mushrooms packed in some dark chocolate are excellent.

  2. “another ‘friendly’ drug where you don’t have any side effects to worry about.” Just as a precaution to others, I think you-Goldmund have a comfortable sense of yourself and your place in the world. Others may not have that kind of view of self and when taking LSD (and other psychedelics) the effects may not be as friendly or “worry free.”

    Just trying to look out for fellow adventurers, good article.

  3. Please be aware that to some of us this avenue of self development may remain closed or less viable. I am a medicated paranoid schizophrenic, and the “trip” this disability sent me on was scary for decades. Another scary issue was that the things the voices said were at least to some extent reflected in the real world.

    If you choose this avenue of self development, at least do it in a group or with a person that you can trust implicitly who can talk you down and serve as an anchor if the trip turns bad. Note that any doctor will roundly warn you off drugs, but see below on Hypnosis. Times and thinking change. Best of luck in the elusive search to better yourself.

    I do and have done meditation and relaxation exercises, and although Hypnosis used to be called contra indicated in the case of endogenous psychoses, thinking on this has changed, but you will need a very skilled practitioner to guide you.

    Binaural beats work too, for Windows I can recommend the program Gnaural, which is free. You may want to choose tones of a much lower pitch than used out of the box, to prevent headaches. I use binaural beats as a “sleeping pill”, since schizophrenia and lack of sleep often run together. So in the case of my sleeping pill, I use two tones of 100 and 102 hertz, and this combo works very well to induce sleepiness. A tone of 100 and 105 hertz would serve very well to induce a “meditative state”, but there is no substitute for internal thought discipline in guiding the meditation. Again, you will find blanket warnings. Personally I have had no bad reactions. I would double check though if you are an epileptic

    Also be aware that anti psychotic medication very probably lowers the intensity of the experience. The doctor tells me however that psychosis is a progressive disease, in other words it gets worse if you are unmedicated. So, again, be careful but by all means make up your own mind.

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