The past few weeks I’ve been hyper-focused on things related to the spirit. Mostly because I’ve been working a few hours each day on my next book–which tells the story of my ayahuasca experience in Peru and delves deep into the spirituality that shapes my worldview.
Ayahuasca brings distant, powerful memories and beliefs up to the surface, and allows you to understand how they influence the way you operate. My early life was steeped in mysticism and unique religious beliefs due to the cult I was raised in–and even though I rejected the religion–I’d be a fool to ignore its lasting effects on my thinking.
I’ve also been out meeting more girls here in New York and have been focusing more on the entire experience rather than getting to the sex as fast as possible. Doing this has made me realize just how much growth and benefit you can gain from meeting new girls.
In order to have positive interactions with women, you must be aware and in the moment.
You have to notice body language, listen to what they are saying, be in tune with the vibe of the situation, and be able to adjust accordingly. I’ve written before about the importance of mindfulness and noticing the details, and this holds especially true if you are out and want to have a good time with girls.
A few times this past week, I found myself drifting off, becoming too self-absorbed, or acting like an asshole by uncouthly spouting my unpopular opinions –and each time that happened the conversation I was having with the girl/s went drastically downhill and fizzled out.
But the times I put the effort in being completely aware and in the moment, things went very well and all of us were engaged and bouncing off of one another’s energy.
Its not easy staying present all of the time, especially because there are so many things to distract your mind–a job, computer screens, consumer culture, other people’s problems, and your own hang-ups–all these need to be pushed to the side in order to have a meaningful connection with someone else.
One of the things I love the most about meeting girls is that in order to be successful, you need to be plugged in to the moment and feeling alive. In order to hold their interest, you need to be interesting, and the only way to do that is through awareness.
It creates honesty.
In order to stay in the game for the long run, you are going to have to be honest with yourself. Its funny how players get a reputation for telling lies in order to get laid, but I’ve never seen a truly successful guy rely on falsities. Instead, they have no qualms about saying “I’m not looking for a girlfriend, but I am open to the possibility”, which should be true in any case.
When you put yourself out there and can allow whatever is on your mind to come out and flow without a front, you are able to open up and attract women because they can see that you are an attractive person right away.
One thing I truly despise about online dating is that it is based on complete superficiality from the start. Have you ever overheard a conversation from two people who are on a first date from online?
Makes me want to slap them in the face to make sure they can feel something.
You will be forced to deal with failure.
There are going to be plenty of times when you are attracted to a girl and she just won’t be interested. Its a fact of life, she just might not like the way you look, you might remind her of someone she hates, you just aren’t her type, your nose is too big, hands are too hairy, whatever excuse she can find, if she is looking for one, she’ll find it.
Failure is a part of life, only cowards avoid failing because they are terrified of risk, crippled by insecurities. Too bad for those dorks because they are missing out on the things that truly make life worth living. The times I do get rejected because it was something I messed up on, I can view it as a time to adjust and grow.The times I’m rejected for any other reason are used as moments of entertainment and laughter.
Whatever the reason, the last thing you should do as a man is wallow in self-pity and take failures personally.
You will be motivated to improve your appearance.
This is a great one, because in order to meet the highest quality girls, you are going to have to work on your appearance. You will have more motivation than ever to eat well, buy clothes that fit, and hit the gym.
Men get flak all the time for ogling sexy, fit women, but I can say with 100% certainty that women are VASTLY more superficial when it comes to looks and their choice of sexual partner (especially for a one night stand). Yes, you can get girls with intelligence and tight game–but nothing will make it easier than looking good on the outside.
As I mentioned before, my next book is going to be about my time with ayahuasca and the adventures I experienced during that trip to Peru.
Beautiful women, animal encounters, the supernatural, eccentric personalities, and a point where I was naked and following the scent of a female deep into the rainforest.
I’m working in obsessive mode now on the book and don’t know how often the blog will be updated while I write.
If you haven’t tried Go Forth yet, I would highly recommend giving it a read. It’s captures moments of pure bliss and freedom that I can only hope to recreate one day.
Buy Go Forth here.
No one in our side of the net or anywhere else I’ve found has the adventurous side that Goldmund does. Or at least they don’t write about it…
The man simply lives a life like almost no other…
And this fascinating lifestyle comes out in Go Forth. Goldmund tells a tale in Go Forth of traveling to New Orleans before heading down to Mexico for his adventures. While working a bit in the town of Oaxaca in Southern Mexico, Goldmund seduces women at night while working and creating art during the day.
Read Go Forth here.