Cockblocks are horrible, horrible snakes that creep up and attempt to inject venom in the veins of sexual attraction.
They can come from anywhere: insecure ‘friends’, male, female, and anything in between.
*Although I’ve found that gay guys can be some of the best wingmen in the world if you get on their good side. No one can encourage a girlfriend to get dirty like an energized homosexual man.*
I’ve tried everything in my days to get around them including open hostility, making fun, pitting them against each other, pandering, and pretending to be harmless.
After years of ups and downs dealing with cockblocks, I’ve found the perfect words to deflect them and make everyone comfortable.
*Much like the ‘Words that can Form an Immediate Connection with Girls‘, this gets deep in peoples heads and is based on truth and honesty.*
It works especially when I’m traveling alone and out in a new environment where I don’t know anyone.
I’ll set the tone with a snapshot of how I hooked up with a girl a few nights ago while out solo in Oaxaca.
It was a Monday night and the streets were empty. Oaxaca isn’t the type of place where people go out early in the week. I wandered around to parts of the city I had yet to explore and was the only patron in many of the bars where the bartenders got tipped well as they poured me soda water and chatted about the recent violence that erupted in the area.
Around midnight, on my way back to the studio, I decided to stop in to my favorite venue that had provided many nights of revelry and companionship. Surprisingly, there was a decent crowd inside and I saddled up to the bar for a beer and assess the situation.
There were some very pretty girls sitting in the main area, but they all were paired up with guys and involved in deep conversation. One thing about Oaxaca is that its very hard to find attractive girls during the day, but at night they are everywhere.
I scanned a little more and noticed that across the room, there were two tables with pairs of girls sitting at both. I looked at the bartender, gave her a smirk and she nodded approvingly–she had seen me do my thing many times and approved of my methods.
I strolled to the other end of the bar to get a better view and see which one of the girls was the most attractive, and as soon as I spotted her, we connected with strong eye contact.
She was dressed up well in a tight pink dress that showed off her Azteca curves and beautiful brown skin, had thick black hair down to her waist, cleavage spilling out of her top, and very high heels–perfect plumage to stir up desire.
As soon as I smiled at her, she leaned over to her friend and made that universal lean-in and chatter that girls do when they are out looking for men. I knew this was going to be an easy approach and walked up immediately to their table.
Upon arrival, the girl in pink was squirming in her seat and pulled a chair up next to her before I said a word.
One reason I love Oaxaca is that some girls there absolutely love my look. Most guys in the city dress in ill-fitting clothes and have low confidence. Plus its very rare that I see anyone else with a full beard, so I tend to stand out in the crowds.
I began the conversation with ‘habla ingles?’ and we chatted in broken English/Spanish about New York and what I was doing in the city. It was fun trying to understand eachother and the connection was strong from the start. I included both of the girls in conversation–her friend spoke much better English and had to translate a few things for us. “Tell her her nose looks funny when she smiles.”
After a bit, the friend got up to use the bathroom and I said “Mamá se ha ido” (mommy is gone), and kissed her after she was done laughing.
When her friend returned, it was obvious that we had stepped up the intimacy level and her stewing jealousy led her to come up with one of the most common cockblocking phrases you will ever hear:
You are just trying to have sex with my friend, aren’t you?
So I responded with my proven reliable phrase that every man should internalize and make manifest in their attitude (modified for these particular circumstances):
Look, I’m here in Mexico alone. I came out to have a good time, meet new people, and connect. If it ends in sex, great!
Immediately the cockblock was diminished and I had the friend on my side. We continued talking, had some more fun, and posed for some photos where I kissed my new girl and said ‘don’t we make a good looking couple?!’
The three of us messed around the bar for the next 30 minutes, tried to find the friend a man to hook up with, failed, and decided it was time to call it a night.
We jumped in to my girls van, dropped the friend off across town, and drove to my studio where passionate sex went down all night.
I find it fascinating how differently women from other cultures go about their love-making. Mexican girls are extremely passionate, can’t help but scream out dirty Spanish phrases in the throes of coitus, and cling on to your body like horny little monkeys when they are about to come–it never gets old.
This was game on easy mode, aided mostly by the fact that I have put time and effort in to my appearance and the way I carry myself, but it could have been easily tripped up by the cockblock if I didn’t have the right frame and words to say.
I came out to have a good time, meet new people, and connect. If it ends in sex, great!
My time in Oaxaca was productive, enriching, and very enjoyable. Every time I come to the city great things happen, and this time, I made certain to keep in touch with all of the girls I met. I never know when I’ll return, but I’ve got a handful of them who are willing to fetch me from the airport when I do.
If you want to read a detailed description of the people, girls, art, and nightlife in Oaxaca, I recommend checking out Go Forth.
And for fascinating insights into the female brain, check out my new release The Man From Brooklyn, one female reader had this to say about it:
Started and finished this weekend and was surprised that I liked it so much. I was hesitant going into it because of my preconceived notions about the plot: girl travels to city to sleep with guy, guy is playboy and acts like a hooligan, girl & guy never speak again. But I was pleasantly surprised…
As I woman I can back-up that “C’s” insecurities are common, but I’ve never actually had the audacity to admit them out loud…Kudos to her for lifting up the veil and letting others get a look inside.
Check out The Man From Brooklyn here.