What follows in this post is an excerpt from my next book I will be releasing this summer.
The book tells the story of my time in Peru earlier this year and how drinking ayahuasca, tobacco, and San Pedro can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, life, and the nature of existence.
Ayahuasca has been a key element in shaping my outlook on life and helping me overcome self-doubt and anxiety.
While in the middle of the rainforest outside of Iquitos, Peru, I was staying in a remote retreat with about a dozen other guests who were there to partake in plant medicine.
One of the guests was an interesting young man whom I had been getting to know through conversation and while we were talking it quickly became clear that he was familiar with the ‘redpill’. I asked him about it and had read Rollo Tomassi and some other parts of the manosphere. He knew about the A Man in Demand Seminar that I had spoke at the year prior and he had been studying game for the past few months.
It was bizarre to come across someone in the middle of the Amazon rainforest who knew about the redpill community and it created an immediate bond between us and we were able to freely speak about it with full understanding.
One morning, we drank San Pedro together and wandered around the grounds enjoying Nature and good conversation. We talked about how we had first come across the ‘redpill’ and Game and I told my story. Its not the most flattering of experiences to recall, but its entertaining and shares important truths.
Go ahead and judge harshly, I don’t give a fuck, and be sure to buy the book when it comes out in a few weeks.
Excerpt from my Next Book
We went up to Tom’s shelter, which looked like a palace compared to my hut. It had three stories, a full bath, and an outdoor deck on the top floor that overlooked the rainforest canopy. We gazed through the tops of trees with San Pedro eyes watching birds, monkeys, butterflies, and lizards living their animal lives and spoke more about how the redpill philosophy had changed both of our lives for the best.
Growing up in a cult that had always made sure to point out the evil and backwards ways of the world–especially in the government, culture, and religion–had made accepting theories of the redpill natural. My study of existential philosophy while in college strengthened my critical eye so when I came across this part of the internet that described ‘unplugging’ from a ‘matrix’ of warped ideas, it was a perfect fit.
The only part of life that I had been completely blinded to and needed a full overhaul in my views was in dealing with females. Everything else had been mostly figured out and I had created a life doing exactly what I wanted in the city I wanted to be in. Things should have been going just fine, but the frustration that comes when you are surrounded by beautiful girls and can’t muster up the courage to say anything to them becomes overwhelming.
I couldn’t start talking to girls I didn’t know because on top of social anxiety, I had grown up being taught that women were special and needed to be treated with respect and kindness at all times. They were delicate creatures who always called the shots in a relationship and had to be catered to. Sex was a reward for being nice to them and by giving them gifts, nice dates, and romance, they would finally sleep with you when you had shown how nice you could be.
It was the most life-changing mindset shift I ever had when I learned the truth about male/female dynamics.
With my background of a lifetime of formal education from ministers and professors, I had never, ever dreamed that I would learn the most about life from a group of skeezy pick-up artists.
I told Tom the story about how I first stumbled upon the pick-up community.
In 2007, I had finally settled down in New York after living a life on the road for years. While traveling around North American, I had become used to being the new, mysterious artist rolling through town to work for a few days selling my photographs, poetry, and pottery. Girls would approach me constantly asking about my work and this is how all my relationships would start. It was how I had relied on meeting girls for years so when I started work in New York, I had to completely shift my strategy if I wanted sex.
I met a girlfriend through my social circle during the first year living there and dated her because she was attractive and would sleep with me. Even though she was a vapid bore who didn’t match my personality at all, I kept seeing her because I needed regular sex. One weekend her cousin came to visit and he told me about something called ‘couchsurfing’.
It was an online community where people from all over the world would offer up extra space in their homes for travelers. It was a great way to meet awesome people, make connections from all over the planet, and meet beautiful, open-minded girls looking for adventure–I signed up that night.
The late 2000’s was the heyday of couchsurfing and the community was small and tight-knit. There was an abundance of beautiful women on it and within a week I had my first guest. She was a gorgeous 19 year old from Belgium who liked to smoke weed and experience live music. We would have slept together, but I felt bad because of my girlfriend and let her sleep on the couch without making any moves.
The day after she left I broke up with my girlfriend.
The next few months introduced me to the wonders of sexually liberated European women. I slept with about 50% of all the female guests who came and had a pretty good system when it came to getting them in my bed. We would go out for dinner and drinks to the best restaurants and bars in Brooklyn–the guests would usually end up paying for everything since couchsurfing was free and they wanted to show their appreciation. Live music would usually follow and we would dance together. I made my move while we were on the dance floor and if we started kissing there, it was a given that she would end up in my bed instead of on the couch that night. It was a fantastic time for everyone involved and I still keep in touch with many of the girls.
I also used couchsurfing while on a roadtrip with a friend of mine through the Southwest United States in the summer of 2009. I got laid with a cute 25 year old hippy in Flagstaff who we stayed with during our first night on the trip and sang the praises of couchsurfing as we traveled through the deserts and mountains of Arizona and Colorado. On the last leg, we were passing through Santa Fe, New Mexico and used the search criteria in couchsurfing to find ’18-24 year old females’. We found one of the sexiest girls I have ever seen on couchsurfing and cheered with glee as we sent her messages and arranged to meet up in the middle of town.
We got to the bar and she was there, looking healthy, slim, and radiant, and next to her was her sister–who was one of the fattest girls I have ever seen in my life. She was so big that the only clothes she could wear were huge dresses that draped over her humongous body. Her porkchop arms stuck out like stumps on a hippopotamus and she breathed through her mouth. The difference in size of the two sisters was comical to the max and hard to believe–throughout the night I kept asking them if they were really related.
The four of us proceeded to get screamingly drunk that night–the bartenders, waiters, and staff at every bar in town knew the two girls and most of our dozens of drinks were on the house. The fat sister, who wasn’t too affected by the booze coursing through her thick veins, drove us around town while we rode in the bed of her pickup truck. At one stoplight I stood up to take a piss off the side of the truck, the piss lasted too long and the light turned green while I was still going. The big female stomped on the gas pedal and I flew out of the back of the truck, flipped a complete somersault, and landed on my side after my legs clipped the box of the moving truck.
I was dazed as I gathered myself in the middle of the road, but by the time they had turned around and come back to get me, I was completely fine, uninjured because of the protection from intoxication .
We got back to their house in the hills outside of town and upon entering, the sexy dancer immediately passed out on the living room floor. My friend and I went outside with the giant girl and she lit up a joint as we all looked at the bright Milky Way streaming across the desert sky.
My friend went to go piss behind a tree and when he returned, the big girl had grasped my hand in her paw. I was spinning so hard at this point that I put up no resistance and just swayed there with a stupid grin on my face. My friend looked at us holding hands, started laughing and said “Well, it looks like its time for bed!”
We went back inside and noticed that there was no where else to sleep except one dirty couch. My friend immediately jumped on the couch while I was still in the grasp of the fat girl. She pulled me inside her room and as the door shut, I could see my friend mouthing silently from the couch “No, don’t do it…NO!” as he gestured wildly with his hands.
The door shut and the beast ripped my pants off and started gobbling my dick like a starving animal.
I wish I could say that I didn’t enjoy it, but when the lights went dim I just focused on the pleasure of sex and didn’t think about the mass of lard underneath me.
One of the running jokes my friend would make for the rest of the trip was to repeat my response after he asked me how it was possible to fuck such a huge female.
“Its not too bad, all you have to do is poke around until you find the wet spot….just find the wet spot.”
After the girl pulled my cock out of her and swallowed the cum out of my dick with insatiable hunger, I went to the bathroom to go wash off and looked in the mirror. Seeing my reflection at this moment was one of the most powerful lessons in self-awareness I have ever experienced. I had reached a new low of drunken lechery and shook my head as I stared in to bloodshot eyes. It was time to reevaluate life and I was determined never to allow a horrid blubbery blunder like this to happen again.
The next morning I awoke to a monstrous hangover that I tried to sleep off as the fat girl got ready for work. I was feeling terrible for a number of different reasons and the racing thoughts of how I was going to transform my identity and life decisions kept me from rest.
The fat girls bathroom was connected to her bedroom and the door did not shut all the way because it was broken and the wood was thin and hollow. Sound passed easily through the room. She went to the toilet and let loose one of the most violent bowel movements I have ever heard in my life. It went on continuously for long minutes as I tried to press pillows on my ears and block out the brutal noises created by her huge digestive system.
Another running joke that my friend created from this episode was
“You got up in there and dislodged years of sludge that had been backing up, you did that girl a service in more ways than one man.”
She came out of the bathroom and kissed me on the cheek goodbye before leaving and the smile on her face had her looking like she had just won the lottery.
I went for a long walk alone through the forest that morning and promised myself and the trees that nothing like that would ever happen again.
We were on our way to Las Vegas and I told myself that I would meet an attractive girl to make love to and help me repair my ego after having sex with such a disgusting specimen.
When we got to Vegas, we went out and were surrounded by sexy girls. I had no idea how to approach them effectively and my anxiety kept me from talking to any of them. One girl even came up to me and asked where I was from and I wasn’t able to keep the conversation going for more than 10 seconds.
We returned to our hotel, smoked a large joint, and when my friend passed out, I timidly typed ‘how to pick up girls’ in to Google. I came across the book ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss and immediately ordered it off of Amazon. That book opened up a portal of understanding that eventually led to finding the manosphere and the redpill community.
…to be continued in the book.
Life has been a wild ride so far and it keeps on getting more interesting.
Game brought me to my senses in many different ways and finally allowed me to reach new levels of self-actualization. I’m endlessly grateful for what I’ve learned over the years and have been happy to share my stories with others.
There is nothing more important than seeking to grow personally and having peak experiences. I’ve taken a different route than others and have found fulfillment in novel ways.
The book coming out details how my worldview was created–when you drink ayahuasca the depths of your soul are revealed and it is possible to realize which major events in life have had the biggest impact.
Fucking one of the fattest girls I have ever seen was one of mine.