There were a lot of benefits of being in a relationship for a big portion of last year. Because of it, my game is even stronger now. My girl was always the most beautiful girl around and I never felt an urge to stray when she was present. She also always called me ‘the most interesting guy in the room’ so that kept her in check.
But, she was foreign, and had to return to Europe for weeks at a time throughout the year. During those weeks she told me “Goldmund, I know you are a man, and you do what men do—I just don’t want to know about it.” Words never sounded so sweet.
So on those weeks alone, I went out and prowled like a wolf, never worrying about setting up dates or getting numbers, I was out for blood and the One Night Stand.
This led to me being the most direct, intent-laid-out-on-the-sleeve, bold, not give a shit motherfuckers these girls had ever encountered. It worked quite a few times—I would say one in every 10 girls I approached this way got sexual with me. But I was rejected. A lot. And didn’t give one shit about each rejection. I had always knew I had my girl waiting for me, and I could just move on to the next one.
After my Long Term Relationship ended, I had to tone down my game a bit if I wanted more concrete results. And yes, now I am setting up dates, but still always going for the SNL and am still much more direct than any other guy I know.
Before storming a bar to hit on girls, Naughty gave a pep-talk that ended in “Come on boys, let’s go get rejected!” The guys all cheered and started prowling with smiles.
Me and Dom love to reconvene after some rejections, share what happened and laugh our asses off. It adds to the energy.
Soup has found a clever way to turn each seeming rejection into a promotion for his shows.
Imagine if there were no rejections. There would be no strategy, no change, no thought, no work, no real reward. Boring.
The way I view a rejection now is that it is fuel, fuel for me to make the next interaction work. I can use whatever happened to re-focus, laugh at myself, and tell the guys something funny
Most of the time I get rejected is because I am doing something stupid for my own amusement—off the top of my head, the last girl who straight up rejected me did so because I looked her in the eye and in all seriousness asked “how did you feel the last time you stepped on a scale?” Don’t ask why I said that, some nights I am in a zone where I don’t even think about half the shit that comes out of my mouth. Amusement.
After that episode, I went over to a new group of girls and pointed at one. I said “hey you, me and you should be friends” she looked at me, first with a smile, then with disgust when she realized her friends were watching, and said “I don’t think so” I said “alright, when you change your mind, find me” and walked off.
I reconviened with a friend of mine and told him about the scale question and the girl who didn’t want to be friends. He started laughing and said that a little Asian girl told him that she only dates online. I shared a story about how I was fucking this Chinese girl and during it I sprained her back and she had to go to the hospital. I described it pretty graphically and we were laughing really hard and having a good time.
And during that time we were laughing, guess who was making her way over, curious to see two men with such high energy–the last girl who had told me she didn’t want to be friends. I saw her creeping up and glancing over every few moments and let her stew for a few minutes. I told my friend my plan and how I had planted the seed and said “now watch.”
I walked in her direction smiling and saw her staring at me now. I said “hey” and she left her group of friends and asked me my name. I knew it was game on then. We chatted a while, danced, made out. I banged her on our first meet-up after that. A girl who had first rejected me right off the bat.
I remember a time where I was terrified to be rejected, when I thought that my world would end and I would always be shackled to meeting girls through friends. Not the case anymore, and now my attitude allows for a clear mind and lots of improvisation.
So embrace rejections, don’t be afraid, the world won’t change, and no one but yourself really gives a shit.