Monologue after Ayahuasca (video)

Ayahuasca Monologue Capture

VIdeo is at the end of this post, read some words first.

Ayahuasca didn’t kill me in the Amazon, but it did create a fight for survival.

One of the greatest aspects of the ceremonies is that they absolutely force the warrior in your mind to come out and go to war against self-ignorance–there is no hiding from the truth. Without a strenuous battle, you would fail miserably and end up in a crumpled heap of tears, shit, and puke–this did happen to an unprepared soul during one particularly intense episode and he had to be revived, reminded to breath, and saved from choking to death on his own fluids.

Things got more intense than I expected, especially during one ceremony where I drank twice, and my second cup was an absolute heroes dose of medicine that took me into realms I never knew existed. The time/space fabric was ripped apart, I was transferred into the mind of an Elk, and there was a complete loss of control of my body and mind–the second most intensely terrifying experience of my life–but it was also a time of true learning/growth.

Didnt expect to switch spirits with this, but there was a lot of the unexpected.

I’m keeping this post short because I’m going back to work on the book I’m writing about this entire journey. Much more happened outside of the ayahuasca ceremonies and the threads that tie the story together are incredibly strong and meant to be shared. It began the moment I left my Brooklyn apartment, continued on my way up the Amazon river to the camp, lasted through the week spent there, and followed me through the final connecting flight back to New York. Its uncanny how everything wove itself together on this trip and the story is begging to be told in book form. How perfectly everything blended together is every writers dream.

Just a handful of some non-coincidences:

  • Ayahuasca refused to reveal herself to me until I had acknowledged my major mental boundaries and blocks–but once they were recognized fully, the floodgates opened and she took over.
  • One of the most gorgeous girls I have ever been with showed up on my second night there (French/Italian model on a pilgrimage to the jungle to drink aya). You can imagine how we connected.
  • To get the most out of the ceremonies, you should abstain from sex/orgasms. The way I worked this out while still being intimate with the girl mentioned above was a completely new experience. Absolute fire.
  • I’m at a peak right now when it comes to attracting girls. Its the reward received after a lifetime of struggles and victories. There isn’t much ‘game’ left to run when the power behind your gaze is enough to seduce the most beautiful women out there. Braggadocio? Maybe, but its true–figuring out how to control this from here on out will be interesting.
  • Sexual energy is a driving force for me. As it is for a lot of men. You can harness this energy and focus it with laser precision on goals you want to reach.
  • A young man who was familiar with the ‘redpill’ and read Rollo Tomassi was there to participate (he recognized me from the Man in Demand Conference) and we quickly bonded. *This was especially bizarre since there were only about 7 visitors total participating in the ceremonies in the middle of a remote jungle.
  • Ayahuasca allowed me to have a glimpse of things as they really are. Humans, Nature, and the spirit realm–its all terrifying and the fact that society is functioning is an absolute miracle.
  • I’m a mirror for others, always have been, my disposition calls for it. Its one of the reasons I’ve been so successful with women. One of my visions solidified this fact with certainty. I’ll continue to develop that skill and acknowledge it consciously from now on.

While camped out in my screened hut that was located right on the banks of a small tributary to the Amazon River, I made a series of videos that describe some of the experiences.

There is almost an hour of footage and I’ll make the rest available when the book finds itself released.

Here is the last ‘diary’ form video I made and is a good representation of what the atmosphere was like.

*The big cigarette I’m puffing on is mapacho–wild tobacco that grows in the rainforest–its extremely potent and plays a huge role in the ayahuasca ceremonies and cleansing rituals. Its nothing like the shitty cancer sticks they sell in the States.

About Goldmund

Goldmund grew up a wild-child and was constantly being disciplined. Using ancient rituals and game, he broke free from the shackles of his mind and the norms of this backwards society. He frequents bars in Brooklyn, mountains in Mexico, and retreats to the desert. His passions are nature and women.

8 comments on “Monologue after Ayahuasca (video)

  1. I have a Brazilian friend who is into this. He uses it to enhance his mystical experiences with theurgy. These kinds of rituals were used by ancients, but one had to be an “initiate” in one of the sacred “mystery religions” to gain access: e.g., the Mithraic Mysteries, Orphic Mysteries, etc.

    • Ayahuasca will certainly get you in touch with any type of energy that you have been surrounding yourself with. I was amazed at how much control the Shipibo shaman directing the ceremonies had over the experience. You could be oceans deep in a vision, and then if he called the energy to a different part of the room to aid somebody in need or decided it was time to end the ceremony–that was it. It was done unless he allowed it to enter you again.

  2. Hey Goldmund, I’m very curious to hear more about your experience. I have tasted the medicine twice now and both times I never felt any spiritual effect. The first time I went in with an unfixable (seemingly) back injury from weight lifting, damn near shit my pants and then my back pain left and has never come back. The second night I drank two cups and ate some cube of dried aya that tasted like asschalk, a fellow next to me did the same, he received a full god moment and the next morning wouldn’t speak to anyone as he wrote page after page of notes, we never spoke again. Both nights I didn’t feel anything, the shaman had a shaman answer saying I wasn’t ready for it, other people said it could have been a shitty diet leading up to it. I followed the guidelines they gave in advance, but maybe I wasn’t ready. Either way, any recommendations to maximize the full effect? Or relevant experience from others in your groups? Looking forward to the book, and I have recommended your blog to a bunch of friends, love your work buddy, and I greatly appreciate it.

    • The first ceremony she didn’t come to me because I was blocked. I talked it out the next day with one of the healers there and worked out what was preventing the ayahuasca from doing her work. During the next ceremony she came in hard after my weaknesses were acknowledged.

      For two weeks before and during the week there I abstained from sex, cut out all meat from my diet, and didn’t drink alcohol or do any other drugs.

      Harnessing my sexual energy was a HUGE part of the experience and I’m very glad I was able to control myself going in. It was the fuel that allowed the deepest revelations, the transfer into the Elk, and the strongest visions/self-knowledge to appear. I would recommend to anyone to get a grip on their sex drive before going in.

      Thanks for the support man, its really appreciated.

  3. I watched a movie about how DMT is in everything. It is part of the essence of the universe. Been a while since I’ve seen it. Part of the movie revolved around Aya and the ceremony. I’ve been intrigued ever since. Your article and vid prompts me to go further.

    • DMT as the ‘essence’, ha, its in our bodies most of the time and can be found just about everywhere.

      The chacruna leaf that is 50% of the ayahuasca brew is jam-packed with the stuff and is absolute magic.

      One of the great things about aya is that it isn’t toxic like alcohol and other drugs–so there is no hangover, your body feels great, and your mind is clear after.

      ‘Medicine’ is really the only proper way to describe it.

    • Nice man, I’ve been working every day for the past few months on a book that documents my experiences with ayahuasca in detail. So much was learned and it takes work in order to keep those lessons in mind while dealing with city-life once again.

      I love New York with my heart, but it really is a fucked up place where most people are focused on the wrong things.

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