Ayahuasca didn’t kill me in the Amazon, but it did create a fight for survival.
One of the greatest aspects of the ceremonies is that they absolutely force the warrior in your mind to come out and go to war against self-ignorance–there is no hiding from the truth. Without a strenuous battle, you would fail miserably and end up in a crumpled heap of tears, shit, and puke–this did happen to an unprepared soul during one particularly intense episode and he had to be revived, reminded to breath, and saved from choking to death on his own fluids.
Things got more intense than I expected, especially during one ceremony where I drank twice, and my second cup was an absolute heroes dose of medicine that took me into realms I never knew existed. The time/space fabric was ripped apart, I was transferred into the mind of an Elk, and there was a complete loss of control of my body and mind–the second most intensely terrifying experience of my life–but it was also a time of true learning/growth.
I’m keeping this post short because I’m going back to work on the book I’m writing about this entire journey. Much more happened outside of the ayahuasca ceremonies and the threads that tie the story together are incredibly strong and meant to be shared. It began the moment I left my Brooklyn apartment, continued on my way up the Amazon river to the camp, lasted through the week spent there, and followed me through the final connecting flight back to New York. Its uncanny how everything wove itself together on this trip and the story is begging to be told in book form. How perfectly everything blended together is every writers dream.
Just a handful of some non-coincidences:
- Ayahuasca refused to reveal herself to me until I had acknowledged my major mental boundaries and blocks–but once they were recognized fully, the floodgates opened and she took over.
- One of the most gorgeous girls I have ever been with showed up on my second night there (French/Italian model on a pilgrimage to the jungle to drink aya). You can imagine how we connected.
- To get the most out of the ceremonies, you should abstain from sex/orgasms. The way I worked this out while still being intimate with the girl mentioned above was a completely new experience. Absolute fire.
- I’m at a peak right now when it comes to attracting girls. Its the reward received after a lifetime of struggles and victories. There isn’t much ‘game’ left to run when the power behind your gaze is enough to seduce the most beautiful women out there. Braggadocio? Maybe, but its true–figuring out how to control this from here on out will be interesting.
- Sexual energy is a driving force for me. As it is for a lot of men. You can harness this energy and focus it with laser precision on goals you want to reach.
- A young man who was familiar with the ‘redpill’ and read Rollo Tomassi was there to participate (he recognized me from the Man in Demand Conference) and we quickly bonded. *This was especially bizarre since there were only about 7 visitors total participating in the ceremonies in the middle of a remote jungle.
- Ayahuasca allowed me to have a glimpse of things as they really are. Humans, Nature, and the spirit realm–its all terrifying and the fact that society is functioning is an absolute miracle.
- I’m a mirror for others, always have been, my disposition calls for it. Its one of the reasons I’ve been so successful with women. One of my visions solidified this fact with certainty. I’ll continue to develop that skill and acknowledge it consciously from now on.
While camped out in my screened hut that was located right on the banks of a small tributary to the Amazon River, I made a series of videos that describe some of the experiences.
There is almost an hour of footage and I’ll make the rest available when the book finds itself released.
Here is the last ‘diary’ form video I made and is a good representation of what the atmosphere was like.
*The big cigarette I’m puffing on is mapacho–wild tobacco that grows in the rainforest–its extremely potent and plays a huge role in the ayahuasca ceremonies and cleansing rituals. Its nothing like the shitty cancer sticks they sell in the States.