What led me to Learn Game (fucking a fat girl)

What follows in this post is an excerpt from my next book I will be releasing this summer.

The book tells the story of my time in Peru earlier this year and how drinking ayahuasca, tobacco, and San Pedro can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, life, and the nature of existence.

Ayahuasca has been a key element in shaping my outlook on life and helping me overcome self-doubt and anxiety.

While in the middle of the rainforest outside of Iquitos, Peru, I was staying in a remote retreat with about a dozen other guests who were there to partake in plant medicine.

One of the guests was an interesting young man whom I had been getting to know through conversation and while we were talking it quickly became clear that he was familiar with the ‘redpill’. I asked him about it and had read Rollo Tomassi and some other parts of the manosphere. He knew about the A Man in Demand Seminar that I had spoke at the year prior and he had been studying game for the past few months.

It was bizarre to come across someone in the middle of the Amazon rainforest who knew about the redpill community and it created an immediate bond between us and we were able to freely speak about it with full understanding.

One morning, we drank San Pedro together and wandered around the grounds enjoying Nature and good conversation. We talked about how we had first come across the ‘redpill’ and Game and I told my story. Its not the most flattering of experiences to recall, but its entertaining and shares important truths.

Go ahead and judge harshly, I don’t give a fuck, and be sure to buy the book when it comes out in a few weeks.


Excerpt from my Next Book

We went up to Tom’s shelter, which looked like a palace compared to my hut. It had three stories, a full bath, and an outdoor deck on the top floor that overlooked the rainforest canopy. We gazed through the tops of trees with San Pedro eyes watching birds, monkeys, butterflies, and lizards living their animal lives and spoke more about how the redpill philosophy had changed both of our lives for the best.

Growing up in a cult that had always made sure to point out the evil and backwards ways of the world–especially in the government, culture, and religion–had made accepting theories of the redpill natural. My study of existential philosophy while in college strengthened my critical eye so when I came across this part of the internet that described ‘unplugging’ from a ‘matrix’ of warped ideas, it was a perfect fit.

The only part of life that I had been completely blinded to and needed a full overhaul in my views was in dealing with females. Everything else had been mostly figured out and I had created a life doing exactly what I wanted in the city I wanted to be in. Things should have been going just fine, but the frustration that comes when you are surrounded by beautiful girls and can’t muster up the courage to say anything to them becomes overwhelming.

I couldn’t start talking to girls I didn’t know because on top of social anxiety, I had grown up being taught that women were special and needed to be treated with respect and kindness at all times. They were delicate creatures who always called the shots in a relationship and had to be catered to. Sex was a reward for being nice to them and by giving them gifts, nice dates, and romance, they would finally sleep with you when you had shown how nice you could be.

It was the most life-changing mindset shift I ever had when I learned the truth about male/female dynamics.

With my background of a lifetime of formal education from ministers and professors, I had never, ever dreamed that I would learn the most about life from a group of skeezy pick-up artists.

I told Tom the story about how I first stumbled upon the pick-up community.

In 2007, I had finally settled down in New York after living a life on the road for years. While traveling around North American, I had become used to being the new, mysterious artist rolling through town to work for a few days selling my photographs, poetry, and pottery. Girls would approach me constantly asking about my work and this is how all my relationships would start. It was how I had relied on meeting girls for years so when I started work in New York, I had to completely shift my strategy if I wanted sex.

I met a girlfriend through my social circle during the first year living there and dated her because she was attractive and would sleep with me. Even though she was a vapid bore who didn’t match my personality at all, I kept seeing her because I needed regular sex. One weekend her cousin came to visit and he told me about something called ‘couchsurfing’.

It was an online community where people from all over the world would offer up extra space in their homes for travelers. It was a great way to meet awesome people, make connections from all over the planet, and meet beautiful, open-minded girls looking for adventure–I signed up that night.

The late 2000’s was the heyday of couchsurfing and the community was small and tight-knit. There was an abundance of beautiful women on it and within a week I had my first guest. She was a gorgeous 19 year old from Belgium who liked to smoke weed and experience live music. We would have slept together, but I felt bad because of my girlfriend and let her sleep on the couch without making any moves.

The day after she left I broke up with my girlfriend.

The next few months introduced me to the wonders of sexually liberated European women. I slept with about 50% of all the female guests who came and had a pretty good system when it came to getting them in my bed. We would go out for dinner and drinks to the best restaurants and bars in Brooklyn–the guests would usually end up paying for everything since couchsurfing was free and they wanted to show their appreciation. Live music would usually follow and we would dance together. I made my move while we were on the dance floor and if we started kissing there, it was a given that she would end up in my bed instead of on the couch that night. It was a fantastic time for everyone involved and I still keep in touch with many of the girls.

I also used couchsurfing while on a roadtrip with a friend of mine through the Southwest United States in the summer of 2009. I got laid with a cute 25 year old hippy in Flagstaff who we stayed with during our first night on the trip and sang the praises of couchsurfing as we traveled through the deserts and mountains of Arizona and Colorado. On the last leg, we were passing through Santa Fe, New Mexico and used the search criteria in couchsurfing to find ’18-24 year old females’. We found one of the sexiest girls I have ever seen on couchsurfing and cheered with glee as we sent her messages and arranged to meet up in the middle of town.

We got to the bar and she was there, looking healthy, slim, and radiant, and next to her was her sister–who was one of the fattest girls I have ever seen in my life. She was so big that the only clothes she could wear were huge dresses that draped over her humongous body. Her porkchop arms stuck out like stumps on a hippopotamus and she breathed through her mouth. The difference in size of the two sisters was comical to the max and hard to believe–throughout the night I kept asking them if they were really related.

The four of us proceeded to get screamingly drunk that night–the bartenders, waiters, and staff at every bar in town knew the two girls and most of our dozens of drinks were on the house.  The fat sister, who wasn’t too affected by the booze coursing through her thick veins, drove us around town while we rode in the bed of her pickup truck. At one stoplight I stood up to take a piss off the side of the truck, the piss lasted too long and the light turned green while I was still going. The big female stomped on the gas pedal and I flew out of the back of the truck, flipped a complete somersault, and landed on my side after my legs clipped the box of the moving truck.

I was dazed as I gathered myself in the middle of the road, but by the time they had turned around and come back to get me, I was completely fine, uninjured because of the protection from intoxication .

We got back to their house in the hills outside of town and upon entering, the sexy dancer immediately passed out on the living room floor. My friend and I went outside with the giant girl and she lit up a joint as we all looked at the bright Milky Way streaming across the desert sky.

My friend went to go piss behind a tree and when he returned, the big girl had grasped my hand in her paw. I was spinning so hard at this point that I put up no resistance and just swayed there with a stupid grin on my face. My friend looked at us holding hands, started laughing and said “Well, it looks like its time for bed!”

We went back inside and noticed that there was no where else to sleep except one dirty couch. My friend immediately jumped on the couch while I was still in the grasp of the fat girl. She pulled me inside her room and as the door shut, I could see my friend mouthing silently from the couch “No, don’t do it…NO!” as he gestured wildly with his hands.

The door shut and the beast ripped my pants off and started gobbling my dick like a starving animal.

I wish I could say that I didn’t enjoy it, but when the lights went dim I just focused on the pleasure of sex and didn’t think about the mass of lard underneath me.

One of the running jokes my friend would make for the rest of the trip was to repeat my response after he asked me how it was possible to fuck such a huge female.

“Its not too bad, all you have to do is poke around until you find the wet spot….just find the wet spot.”

After the girl pulled my cock out of her and swallowed the cum out of my dick with insatiable hunger, I went to the bathroom to go wash off and looked in the mirror. Seeing my reflection at this moment was one of the most powerful lessons in self-awareness I have ever experienced. I had reached a new low of drunken lechery and shook my head as I stared in to bloodshot eyes. It was time to reevaluate life and I was determined never to allow a horrid blubbery blunder like this to happen again.

The next morning I awoke to a monstrous hangover that I tried to sleep off as the fat girl got ready for work. I was feeling terrible for a number of different reasons and the racing thoughts of how I was going to transform my identity and life decisions kept me from rest.

The fat girls bathroom was connected to her bedroom and the door did not shut all the way because it was broken and the wood was thin and hollow. Sound passed easily through the room. She went to the toilet and let loose one of the most violent bowel movements I have ever heard in my life. It went on continuously for long minutes as I tried to press pillows on my ears and block out the brutal noises created by her huge digestive system.

Another running joke that my friend created from this episode was

“You got up in there and dislodged years of sludge that had been backing up, you did that girl a service in more ways than one man.”

She came out of the bathroom and kissed me on the cheek goodbye before leaving and the smile on her face had her looking like she had just won the lottery.

I went for a long walk alone through the forest that morning and promised myself and the trees that nothing like that would ever happen again.

We were on our way to Las Vegas and I told myself that I would meet an attractive girl to make love to and help me repair my ego after having sex with such a disgusting specimen.

When we got to Vegas, we went out and were surrounded by sexy girls. I had no idea how to approach them effectively and my anxiety kept me from talking to any of them. One girl even came up to me and asked where I was from and I wasn’t able to keep the conversation going for more than 10 seconds.

We returned to our hotel, smoked a large joint, and when my friend passed out, I timidly typed ‘how to pick up girls’ in to Google. I came across the book ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss and immediately ordered it off of Amazon. That book opened up a portal of understanding that eventually led to finding the manosphere and the redpill community.

…to be continued in the book.


Life has been a wild ride so far and it keeps on getting more interesting.

Game brought me to my senses in many different ways and finally allowed me to reach new levels of self-actualization. I’m endlessly grateful for what I’ve learned over the years and have been happy to share my stories with others.

There is nothing more important than seeking to grow personally and having peak experiences. I’ve taken a different route than others and have found fulfillment in novel ways.

The book coming out details how my worldview was created–when you drink ayahuasca the depths of your soul are revealed and it is possible to realize which major events in life have had the biggest impact.

Fucking one of the fattest girls I have ever seen was one of mine.

About Goldmund

Goldmund grew up a wild-child and was constantly being disciplined. Using ancient rituals and game, he broke free from the shackles of his mind and the norms of this backwards society. He frequents bars in Brooklyn, mountains in Mexico, and retreats to the desert. His passions are nature and women.

15 comments on “What led me to Learn Game (fucking a fat girl)

      • The pathetic aspect to my old pickup lair wingman I abandoned after Badboy was how they also rejected super sexy voluptuous bridge and tunnel gals in their 20s as being fatties and cockblocks though, a pure peer pressure effect, as they pursued some of the most masculine club gal bitches around, who were always cheating on boyfriends and that jaded the pickup artists away from liking women any more, ha! They burned out into depression and gave pathetic lair talks about being real again, wanting to find…a girlfriend.

  1. probably everyone rememberes what got him into game been 2years and 1 month now I was 20 years and had a somewhat relationship with a really borderline girl that required huge amounts of asshole game after beta backsliding hard one evening she broke up with me the next day and i searched ‘how to manipulate father complex’ and ‘solve my girl problems’

    I guess the first article on game i wrote was the dick move by Roosh but there actually was a site called solve my girl problems from a guy called shark who also happens to live in new york dunno if you ever heard of him? This man probably had the greatest impact on my understanding and view on life and thats where my dive into the rabbit hole started

    The Blog is long gone but this is one of his last articles

    A PROMISE
    On June 4, 2012 by Shark

    So I take it that the lot of you grant me some degree of integrity? That you trust my judgement, that you
    understand that I sacrifice my own time to answer some of your queries? That I am a man of my word?
    Then heed this,
    I promise, I solemnly swear, I pledge, I stake my own life; that if you come upon that oh very vast plateau in
    life infamous for exhausting meager minded men, and you sacrifice your very fucking conscience to
    overcoming it, that it will bend itself in whichever way you want. I promise, that the days you spend grinding
    towards a goal or a project without reaping any visible rewards, will never be a waste. That you will never
    regret risking too much while putting everything you have into it; you will only regret gambling too little while
    putting everything you have into it, or gambling too much but not putting enough of yourself in. I promise,
    that if your’re willing to burn all of your distractions, walk away from the relationships that imbibe your
    energy, and punch yourself in the face the next time you sell yourself short, that no ambition, no level, no
    goal, no league, no extravagance, no obstacle, no time-limit, no other person will seem too significant, too
    impossible, or too unbecoming. None, nothing, no one.
    I promise that the time you spend reading the classics, academic journals, enriching yourself with as much
    knowledge as possible, will be worth it. There will be people who tell you that you are wasting your time.
    They do not know what I know. I promise that that last rep of push-ups, the one you’re sure is impossible,
    is possible. And that if you consistently eat oatmeal, protein, and vegetables instead of Mcshitty burgers,
    your life will be better. That if you want to lose weight bad enough, you will lose weight. I promise that when
    you’re trying to learn how to paint, sing, dance, or play the piano; your sucking shit phase will pass.
    Consistent practice. No secret techniques, no magical formulas, nothing. Just hard work.
    I promise that the girl you’re chasing isn’t worth it. That the Oneitis your suffering from is not your soulmate.
    That the girl you’re driving yourself crazy over won’t make you happy. That you’re better off dumping
    your garbage instead of trying to recycle it. I promise that heartbreak is nothing easy, but that is something
    every man must go through. And the more times he goes through it, the stronger he becomes. I promise
    that all you need to do is grind your teeth and keep telling yourself “push through.” That there will be nights
    when you’re sure “I messed up the greatest thing in my life,” and that if you accidentally believe yourself,
    you’ll regret it for a lifetime.
    All of this, I promise. Triumph. Keep pushing.
    I can’t tell you how I know all of this, but I know it. I’ve been blessed with certain powers of prophecy. It has
    been written on an antique scroll like the one below some trillions of years ago. If you ever doubt yourself,
    don’t doubt me. I am never wrong, come back and read this when you have to.

    Cheers Goldmund I also owe you alot been following your blog for about a year now.

    • I haven’t heard of that blog but the sentiments seem very familiar. Good stuff.

      Game is certainly a major turning point in every guy’s life. All that I’ve talked to remember the exact circumstances that led them to seek out ways to improve. Its hard work, especially in the beginning, but pays off immensely once you grasp whats behind it all.

      Not only are we not taught any of this stuff in school or from our well-meaning family and friends, but we are told to do the opposite, and from a young age. Not to mention the retarded way Hollywood portrays romance–its insanity out there.

      Thanks for reading man, appreciate the support.

    • That blog was my entrance as well. Beautiful stuff. Strangely you are the only other person I’ve ever seen reference Shark in the community. I had already gotten most of the way there by 2011 but Shark plus a mushroom trip was really the final key in putting it all together. Definitely miss that blog.

      • Shark and Badboy were my escape from the tacky old Ross Jeffries creepy speakers and Mystery the giant goth in favor of no longer faking it. My girlfriend at the time who paid my rent for a decade even gifted me a trip to England to do a Badboy workshop. Wow, witnessing myself getting great results in public was the breakthrough that ended my excuses that I lacked the right stuff. I am wired to be more calm around super hot women but the lying strategy of pickup artists was actually throwing me off, like I was supposed to put up a totally canned facade, then write field reports that dehumanized away any mention of each girl’s core vibe, just a hotness rating and mental masturbation about mind control crap. Later the NYC lair guys set up fake charity parties to scalp girls away from their boyfriends after the girls dragged them to the goodie goodie event they were the heroes of. Disgusting, that, Marco with his Metrofly scam.

        • I only learned about the PUA stuff in retrospect, through Shark. No idea how I came across the site, I certainly wasn’t having girl problems by that point. But the shit about getting off your ass and building your own self-determined existence hit me like a ton of bricks.

  2. Good read man. Been reading your blog for a while but your experience reminded me of how I got into game. A guy I knew mentioned to me how he was reading a book called ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss and it was a guide on picking up women. I was a virgin and completely clueless about women at the time (looking back I see situations where women were coming onto to me but I was totally oblivious gah). I was intrigued and got the book the same night. Read it in all one sitting. A weeks later I coincidentally stumbled upon r/seduction on reddit which led to finding r/redpill and the redpill community and other resources like your blog. Looking back at my virgin self, I can’t believe how far I’ve come with women and my development as a man but I’m nowhere at your level yet. Reading your blog is good motivation to keep on improving.

    Cheers.

    • Nice, that book is so great because its so well written and the story is fascinating. I cringe a bit now at the ‘openers and routines’ that I used from the book, but they were great training wheels to get me rolling over anxiety.

      Keep up the development and girls will be drawn naturally and all this game shit will start to look easy.

  3. Hahahahaha….i LoL cuz i have had that same exact rock bottom epiphany you did including the horror of hearing the morning after splatters. But mine was worse. It all happened in a trailer park. And this bitch was so wheels off, she didn’t even have electricity because she hadn’t paid the bill. That drive home was tortuous because every time I had to look in the rearview mirror, I would see my self loathing judgemental reflection looking back at me. I never felt so ashamed of myself.

    I know this thread is a couple months old, but I just got here after reading Rollo and stumbling across some of your YouTube stuff. But better late than never.

    “The fat girl’s bathroom was connected to her bedroom and the door didn’t shut all the way”

    As soon as I got to “bathroom”, I knew what was coming because I had been there. It’s funny how the only difference between the game in the late 2000’s and the mid 90’s was the lack of internet. Hahaha

    Great story.

  4. Hey Goldmund – we met last night at Mercury Lounge. Thank you for the company and I enjoyed listening to music and having a few beers together. I checked out your blog; I wanted to know a bit more about you from our conversations about your writing. Looks like you’ve got quite a following here as a dating coach; which is admirable, considering dating is a tough realm to navigate and as humans, we’re looking for answers to find a compatible partner. After perusing your site, I don’t think we are on the same page in life. I’ll have to pass on pool tomorrow evening. Good luck with everything and be safe 🙂

    – D

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