Writing words on the internet has had much more of an impact than I could have ever imagined–its something my head won’t wrap around yet.
I’ve met a variety of fascinating people over the past two years from doing this, have found a new kind of creative outlet, added to my income, found myself obsessively overthinking it all, and have tried to contemplate just what the fuck I’m doing and whether its worth the effort.
And then another out-of-the-blue scenario births itself because of this website and I’m hooked again–because what I crave most in life are new and interesting situations that can be analyzed and used for education.
Last week, I was amusing myself at the bar by watching millennial hipsters on obvious first Tinder dates. The old man in me got crotchety and irritated because when I was an anxiety ridden 21 year old, instead of being a little pussy and swiping on a screen to get a date, I had to work hard, go to therapy, get hypnotized, force myself to meet new people, put on the act of an extrovert, eat peyote, forge my own path, gain some real self-confidence, and fight like hell to slay the demons holding me back from living life.
So fuck Tinder and the little bitches who rely on it to meet girls–feel a grown man’s derision and use it to get off your ass and improve the hard way. Read another of my rants against online dating here.
Anyway–I’m at a bar getting more riled up at each pasty faced new set of dates who met on Tinder–and one of the pairs saddles up in the seats next to me.
So I decide to shake them up a bit and document the tornado on my Twitter.
The look on the dates faces were priceless. I’m not so much of an asshole that I would attempt to steal his date right from under his nose, but I projected enough energy to let them know it was a possibility, and gave the girl an option to leave (she didn’t…this time).
*I’ve perfected a great way to poach online dates–because many girls you see out sitting alone at a restaurant or bar are waiting for their date to show up–its one of the chapters of Advanced Game Techniques. Check it out, its a deadly way to get deep in a girls head and make her think twice about her options. Read it here.
So I send out the Tweets, get a message from McQueen about how they lined up perfectly with his next blog post that cuts up Tinder some more (read that here), get some other fun reactions, and some other messages telling me to go raise some more hell.
One of the messages is from a girl who had contacted me on Twitter before and mentioned how she thought my perspective was refreshing. I thought that was cool because most of the time girls contact me, or comment here, or email me–its to tell me the content is interesting but far too crass for them to enjoy it. Girls I know in my personal life say the same thing about what goes on with the writing here.
Its fascinating to hear women speak about the lifestyle I promote, and I’ll never forget one of the major paradigm shifts I experienced while learning game:
Women do not want to feel like they are the center of your world, its a turn-off, its unnatural, its backwards. They crave men who have a vision and take the lead–even if its just for one night.
Go Forth means a lot to me because it was the first time in my life where I was truly liberated and had both the ability to exercise what I knew about game and the self-confidence to pull it off–it captures a truly freeing and exciting time in my life.
What follows is both a review of Go Forth and a perspective of a player from the point of view from a modern girl. My thoughts and responses are in bold.
‘Go Forth’ Review by C
It’s not exactly a surprise to anyone in my close circle that I’m attracted to confident, border-line arrogant, men. I’m drawn to those that are passionate, have wanderlust running through their veins, and go after things they want with full force. [Why, hello darling;)]
It’s a dangerous combination, but when mixed with the right timing and passion it can equal an intense memorable experience for both parties. I’ve found that these particular men are those can stimulate me both intellectually and physically, which is the magic formula to get me to stay. [Funny that the exact traits in a guy that are clear signs he isn’t going to stick around for long are the ones that keep her interested. I’ve found this very true in all my relationships with high quality women.] It’s actually the single cure to my wanderlust or the one thing that keeps it at bay: curiosity.
I was scrolling through Twitter one night after my first failed Tinder date of 2016 and came across a feed of a man who goes by Goldmund trolling a Tinder date in NYC. I thought it was hilarious and related all too well to the words I was reading on my screen. In the back of my mind I was wishing that a man like him had been there during my date to save me from such a painfully awkward encounter that was devoid of any sexual spark. [Poaching online dates in real life is a chapter in Advanced Game Techniques–I’ve done it a few times and the girls absolutely love it, check it out here.]
I started clicking around, reading some of the articles he had posted on his blog and scrolled through his Twitter. It was refreshing to see that out there in a sea full of men a small minority exists that get it: women want to be approached, we want men to be confident, and we want men that will take charge while still making us feel empowered. [I cringe at that last word–and from my perspective, I’m not giving the girls any authority, I allow them to feel as comfortable as possible in their sexuality and they openly submit.]
This curious stranger understood things like body language, picking up on little details, the importance of having your shit together or at least the appearance of, and most importantly: that curiosity is a turn-on and women love the adventure. [Years of studying and applying game tend to do that.]
I kept on seeing something called Ayahuasca and a book titled, “Go Forth” while I was skimming through blog entries. I asked a friend that traveled extensively through Peru about Ayahuasca and he reassured me that no it wasn’t Jonestown 2.0 (thanks for nothing Google), but rather something people have been seeking out for years to invoke serious spiritual upheaval. [Learning game/the redpill is a spiritual awakening–figuring out what’s real, recognizing truth, and realizing this is just the start of an endless journey. Ayahuasca is the perfect aide for guidance.]
My own spiritual path got turned on it’s head a few years ago and the spiritual journeys’ of others have since enticed me. My curiosity got the best of me, as per usual, and I decided to buy his book “Go Forth”, which was inspired by his first experience with Ayahuasca and documents his travels in Mexico afterwards. I will admit that I was hesitant at first, hearing details of how this stranger slept his way through a foreign country didn’t exactly sound appealing, but something inside me kept urging me to read it, so I gave in. [Running sales game, heh.]
From the first few pages I was absolutely engrossed in the story. It had been a while since I had read an actual story and felt like I was there with the character throughout his journey. I could feel the supernatural spirit in New Orleans when talk of voodoo and doppelgangers was brought up, the fear and shell-shock from his encounter with the former Sureno gang member, and the renewing peaceful spirit of the ocean in Escondido.
As a millennial I’m constantly bombarded by short lists that are meant for people with attention spans of 5 seconds. Buzzfeed. Elite Daily. XO Jane. Thought Catalog. All of these sites make list articles or short 30 second how-to videos and it drives me insane. I want more meat to something an author is trying to convey, I want to feel emotions, and to feel fed when I finish whatever it is I’m reading. The art of story-telling is becoming more novel as the obsession with our screens intensifies. Goldmund hits the nail on the head with his storytelling style in ‘Go Forth‘, it not only left me feeling fed, but hungry for more. [I take my storytelling style seriously and appreciate the craft–its the best way people can learn invisible lessons of spirit. Read more about my view on writing style here.]
While Goldmund breaks his book up into 3 distinct parts, his first visit to Oaxaca, his stint in New Orleans, and his return to Oaxaca, the stories that resonated the strongest with me were riddled throughout his adventures, particularly with certain women he met along the way. For the purpose of this review I’ve broken down three gems I discovered while venturing through “Go Forth”.
Sexuality and the Slut Myth
American millennial women are told men don’t want women who are comfortable with their sexuality or else they think we’re too easy or sluts when in-fact that’s one of the biggest lies we’ve ever been fed. [Had to read that sentence three times to make sure I understood what she was saying–America is a big place with very different values depending on regional culture. There is a big difference between girls who are comfortable/mature with sex and sluts. It has to do with their mentality, I’ll be up for discussing this further in the comments.]
Our Puritanical views on sex as a society have contributed to the majority of American millennial women portraying a version of themselves that is unauthentic. We say, “I want a guy that’s classy and isn’t going to try to get in my pants on a first date” when that’s not what we mean at all. (See Goldmund’s story about the woman in New Orleans who’s answer to his question is: stay classy).
Instead of becoming comfortable with our sexuality we try to mask it or play it off by saying things like, “I’ve never done this before”, “I hope you don’t think less of me because I had sex with you within x amount of time from meeting you”, or any apologetic variation that says a) I have no self esteem and/or b) I’m not a slut I promise!! While we say this the guy is sitting there thinking, “great, here we go again.” (I know this because I’ve said some of those things on more than one occasion).
It took me a long time to become comfortable and unapologetic with my sexuality and rid my mind of the negative connotation that’s often associated with doing so. But once I did the sex became better, connections became stronger, and I became happier. Goldmund seems to have a good grasp of this concept and documents it in detail with the contrast of the AirBnB woman in New Orleans and the women he sleeps with in Mexico. [I’ll never forget the first time I slept with a girl who was completely liberated sexually (Austrian). Most of the girls before that had been American and from very strict religious backgrounds–they were the ones who were paranoid as coming across as ‘slutty’. My original hangups with sex were due to pedastalizing women–when that ended after learning game–sex became a lot more enjoyable.]
Lost in Translation Experiment
I shared a few pages that told the story of Goldmund and the Indian girl he brought home one of his first nights in New Orleans with a group of friends. I wanted a different perspective than my own on whether or not it was offensive that he told her friends he was a good guy and would take care of her. In many circles this would mean, “I’m a good guy I’m not going to just take your friend home to sleep with her” while in others it would translate to, “I’m taking your friend home to sleep with her, but don’t worry I’m not a crazy psycho-path.”
I was surprised that my group was pretty split on the issue. Half agreed that he should’ve been more upfront about his intentions or not gone over to the friend group at all and the other half argued that he really didn’t lie, he went home and fulfilled both of their sexual desires which could be categorized as taking care of her. [To clarify–I say “don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of her” a lot to girls friends that I have just met. I say it in a way that is 100% clear that I mean I’m going to fuck her well and make sure she has a good night. Its very obvious what my intent is–and most girls are completely fine with that.]
It could even be taken a step further and argued that he was helping her to reach self-actualization by fulfilling the first and most basic need: physiological. It’s also worth mentioning that the group who had significant less sexual experience held the first view-point.
Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
I’m sure many women reading this are wondering, did any part of him describing his sexual encounters bother you? The only part of Goldmund’s tale that made me slightly cringe was the story of the woman in Mexico whom he told, “Alright, if it’s going to be like that, you can go—the door is over there.” [Yup, I was pissed off and in pain from blue balls after fooling around with her, my anger from being teased was palpable.]
It reminded me of a similar experience I had in college. I’d been approached by a musician who was interested in collaborating on an event, since I was very active in the music scene in Utah County I didn’t think twice about his intentions. It was normal for me to be approached all the time by different brands or artists wanting to team up in some way. A late night meeting that had ended in a heavy make-out session led to me finding myself on his doorstep at 1AM a few nights later.
I distinctly remember him saying almost the exact words that Goldmund spoke to the Hispanic woman when he realized I wasn’t going to have sex with him that night. It brought back the feelings of a hesitant insecure 18-year-old virgin who, because of my strict religious upbringing, was just beginning to discover, let alone explore, her sexuality. Looking back on it now I can see that the musician, and Goldmund, aren’t the wolves in sheep’s clothing I made them out to be. [Before game I wore the sheep’s clothing like the white knights who prance around pretending to care and ‘protect’ girls while brooding in the friendzone and jerking off to them every night. Now, there is nothing to hide because of understanding female nature–and once again–the girls embrace it.]
What did I actually expect to happen at 1AM on weeknight? And what did the Hispanic woman expect to happen after she rubbed his cock? I’m a firm believer that at any point a woman has the right to say no and walk away, but after putting yourself into situation(s) that scream, “I want to get laid”, we can’t exactly be angry, frustrated, or shout from the rooftops that the man that tried is a “player”. As Goldmund put it, “what kind of man would I be if I didn’t try and fuck you?” [I love the moments when I have to say that.]
American women have a tendency to victimize themselves and villianize those that do or said things they don’t agree with in that moment. [Now ain’t that the gotdamn truth!]
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed Goldmund’s book and would recommended it to, almost, any of my female friends. It was interesting to see inside the thoughts of a man who encompasses so many traits of that “one guy” every woman has experienced. Adventurous. Charismatic. Mysterious. The man that can take control of whatever room he walks into. The man who genuinely loves women. [Like somekind of superhero. heh]
I only delved into three things I gathered from the book, there were several more but for the sake of others’ attention spans I decided to narrow it down. While it’s easy to see how Goldmund could be so unlikeable throughout his sexual escapades in “Go Forth”, and on his blog, not once is he dishonest or unclear about his intentions. So perhaps the hatred for him is unfounded and just rooted in jealously from boys who wish they had the same magnetic effect on women. [The hate is actually rare, for every person who misinterprets what I’m trying to do with all of this–there are 20 more who ‘get it’ and express their gratitude.]
“Go Forth” left me with a burning desire for adventure, specifically within Mexico, and the question from all my friends: “Will you ever meet up with the modern-day Indiana Jones Brooklynite?”
Thank you for that C, it was a good breakdown and a pretty accurate interpretation of what I was going for in Go Forth.
*Full disclosure–C messaged me through Twitter last week when I was out drunk and partying with some other authors in New York. To amuse myself and get a laugh from everyone, I responded to her “come to New York and I’ll fuck the shit out of you.”
Offer still stands.