The Downsides of Player Life

**This post is quite different from the usual, I wrote it with the tone of how I would sit down and speak to a friend about an idea–so put yourself in that position**

Last month I wrote two articles that were very well received and resulted in a lot of interesting feedback.

Game Tip for Going out Solo in 2017

How a Redpill Player Stole a Girl who Puts Guys in the Friend-Zone

I try to write my experiences with a positive vibe and aim to motivate guys to live life to the max, have peak experiences, demonstrate boldness, and take what they want.

It was the stories in great literature about men who did what they wanted to do and created adventure that shaped my life choices.

It was the stories about Game and success with women that helped me get over the shame of sexual expression and allowed me to realize what was possible.

As soon as the sexual frustration problem was solved, it enabled me to exercise my potential in ways I couldn’t before.

And it was life-changing.

So I do what I do in order to give back, and it seems to be working–thanks to everyone who sends the fanmail, I love it!

BUT, and this is a big BUT–when I write I tend to gloss over the shitty parts of the lifestyle, leave out the grind that goes on behind the scenes in my stories, and treat rejection the way I do in real time–ignore it.

For example, when I went out in the “Game Tip for Going out Solo” story, I was alone for two hours before coming up with the new line, wasn’t talking to anybody for most of that time, got hit on by a drunken, smelly fat girl, who then got mad and cockblocked me when she saw me talking to another, more pleasant girl, and walked over a mile scouting venues until finding a decent one.

The girls then took me to a venue in the city that was one of the douchiest places I’ve ever been and I had to handle a constant barrage of drunken bridge and tunnel dudes who were hitting on them. The blonde girl got hungry at one point and I had to deal with keeping the sexual energy up while she tried to convince her friend to go eat pizza with her. The cab ride back to my place was long and the girl started throwing up the dumbest shit-tests you could imagine and I had to play mental jujitsu for 30 long minutes.

When I fucked the Australian girl in the bathroom in the “Redpill Player” story, we were both pretty drunk, or else I don’t think she would have followed me in there, and I consider that one an exception to the rule. Plus my friend who invited me out got pissed because Mr. Australia was bitching about the situation–I don’t know if I’ll get invited to another dinner party with girls in attendance.

My point is that there is a LOT of work and disappointment that goes on in between success, I assume most readers understand that, but it needs to be clarified.

To put this in more context–when I was growing up I watched a ton of Nature documentaries–they used to have great ones on the Discovery Channel and PBS before those companies sold out, and I especially loved the scenes from the rainforests and coral reefs.

So when I got the chance to study abroad in the Australian Rainforest, I jumped on the opportunity and got set to live for 3 months in the middle of the Atherton Tablelands.

Part of our curriculum was to monitor wildlife in the area and I assumed that all day long we would see snakes, birds, opossums, lizards, and platypus. I was especially excited to see Cassowary, which are living dinosaurs and native to Atherton–I thought we would encounter them frequently.

A beautifully badass bird.

Nope, it was hours of scanning the trees for a fleeting bird, hiking miles to find one little spot where the platypus lived, coming across the rare lizard sitting stone cold on the side of a tree, and having to flip over lots of logs in order to catch snakes.

As for the Cassowary–in my 3 months in the rainforest, we saw exactly 1–and it was when we were driving into town for supplies and it crossed the road.

Going out to meet girls is similar, it takes a ton of time and searching to find one that you are attracted to, is up for it, takes to your Game, and is available.

**And if you are on the hunt for that rare Cassowary, good luck! It takes even more time and circumstance to find your idea of true excellence**

As an experiment, I decided to document one Friday night while out in New York and live Tweet it out for fun.

You can check out that thread here.

One thing to keep in mind, when I’m out in New York, I screen hard and reject a lot of girls because I don’t like their attitude, energy, or pretensions.

I do this because there are so many girls in the city that its easy to pick and choose who you like best. When I’m in smaller places, its a lot different and I’ll be more patient because of the lack of options.

On that Friday night, I spoke to about 20 girls, rejected half of them on my own, got two solid numbers, got rejected outright by 5 of them, refused a drunk girl who would have easily come home with me, had a couple of good conversations, and by the end I was just out and about, not dead set on getting laid.

**I showed this blog to one of the last girls I spoke to…if you are reading this–Hola! Buy my books:)**

Was the night a success or a failure?

I honestly had fun, met some cool people, don’t care about the rejections, learned some things, and reinforced my belief that Friday night is the worst night to go out in American cities.

The rejection part is tough for many, many guys to handle.

I know especially because despite my brashness and confidence, I still am highly sensitive. Rejections used to kill me and just one would ruin my night for good.

It took a while to get over, but eventually I came to realize that dealing with rejection makes you rely on your inner sense of self and can boost your confidence.

**This is a major reason why I preach so much about reading and self-awareness, it is imperative to strengthen your inner world**

Plus it doesn’t hurt to have the attitude “well, its your loss, guess you don’t want to have an exciting time and good sex!”

This type of lifestyle also takes a certain personality and a huge amount of energy.

During my first year exercising game, I was out 6 nights a week, nonstop.

I like comparing it to the creative act (and is why so many artists are such notorious Players).

You become obsessed with the process, experiment with many different styles, deal with a lot of rejection, put your entire personality and beliefs into your work (in Game the work is your personality), spend incredible amounts of mental energy during creation, and blast into orgasmic bliss when the art is complete.

Then you start all over again from scratch.

You have to love it or else you’ll burn out quick.

So keep the above in mind when you read my stories.

Yes, I do have a lot of fun, I genuinely love how attraction and seduction operate, I love women, I love sex, and I don’t think there is anything more interesting than how this all goes down.

But just like anything that comes out worthwhile, there is a tremendous amount work involved.

*If you are a new reader here, I highly recommend reading my first book Go Forth. It paints the picture of where I’m coming from.

Get Go Forth here.

About Goldmund

Goldmund grew up a wild-child and was constantly being disciplined. Using ancient rituals and game, he broke free from the shackles of his mind and the norms of this backwards society. He frequents bars in Brooklyn, mountains in Mexico, and retreats to the desert. His passions are nature and women.

19 comments on “The Downsides of Player Life

  1. Awesome insight and thanks for sharing. A large problem we have is people always see the final product, but they never look at the work and the process that led up to the product. Getting great at anything does not happen over night, it takes time and work. Same with Game. It gets sharper through countless rejections, venue changes and conversations, which is why when it all clicks the reward is so epic and that much more worth it. Just like entrepreneurship. I’ve been working on a post that has a similar topic about the Game Grind and this post has been some great inspiration for a few ideas I was stuck on while writing it. Keep on living life to the max sir. Cheers.

    • True. I think its so damn funny when I talk to girls about this in a meta-way.

      Its almost impossible for them to understand how much work it takes to be an attractive man. We can’t just show up and get laid like they can. Life is work, and lots of it.

      Plus, our mechanical minds love breaking things down to see how they operate–to me sexual dynamics is one of the most fascinating things in the world.

      Let me know when your post is complete, I’m interested in checking it out.

  2. Thanks for the insight man. Easy to get in your head too much after a few rejections. Just gotta laugh a little and move to the next. If everything was easy, life would be boring.

  3. Yup.

    Let’s be blunt – Most people are not cut out for game. This is one of those endeavors which has a very skewed success demographic; very few make it.

    For a new guy, here’s my two cents:-

    1. Focus on the process and what you find beautiful about it. Because no matter how calibrated you are, you can’t read her mind; You don’t know her situation and you can’t control her. And thus, you can’t control outcomes.

    See if you can find something interesting, something fun about the whole damn thing.

    2. Be prepared for a complete overhaul of your life. And i’m not kidding.

    Though it may look like all you have to do is to learn some lines and ways of interacting with women, the truth is that game is an expression of the entirety of your character. And that means a complete revamp of your identity.

    Most probably, all your old habits, interests, old friends will completely go away. Game is figurative rebirth.

    3. Most players work in shadows. So from now on you have a double life. And frankly your mainstream life will just be to sustain you. You become a wolf in sheep skin and this will take it’s toll. Be prepared to wear different masks for different contexts.

    4. Rejections sting, but there’s another side to it. Once you get over it, you also loose your patience with girls. A single mistake and she’s dropped. This will serve as an impediment to having relationships.

    5. This is going to seriously fuck up your view of intimacy. From now on, you will never think of yourself as an “owner” of your girl. Rather you are sharing yourself with her FOR A SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME. The girl will also think of the same thing. Be prepared to be literally treated like a dildo. That sounds good till it actually happens to you – then it feels shit.

    6. All interactions with women are now going to be second ordered. Lines and verbal are spontaneous, but at the back of your mind, you always think about frame, vibe, what she’s thinking etc.

    7. Your love for women will increase a thousand fold. Your trust in women will completely erode.

    • Agree with all points, mostly with 2 though
      It has happened to me that “game” is flipping around my entire life. I think it can happen to many. When you separate sex from all the other things ppl do to get it (work hard to get the nice car, get a promotion to have the nice apparment, meet such and such people hoping to find a mate..) a lot of things lose their value.

  4. This is why I read your stuff Goldmund, you give us the unvarnished truth, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Too many red pill guys and “players” in general gloss over the more unpleasant aspects of game and imply that rejections are few and far between or (worse), never happen. To go from pissed off and not getting laid to happy and sexually content is a long road filled with detours, pot holes, and the occasional land mine. It can be mundane and rage inducing all at once and fill your chest with that uniquely painful tightness that all guys trying to get over social anxiety are so intimately familiar with. I’m still on the journey myself and to an extent always will be since game at its deepest is way more than just getting pussy. Cheers to the process, to triumphs and failures, because like a wise man once said the journey is the reward.

  5. Appreciate the realness, Goldmund.

    A lot of the above logistic-wrangling and drunk strolling is why I keep turning back to Tinder. It’s just efficient, easy, and fun. No groups to handle, no expensive drinks to buy (I often do the coffee first date and dinner at mine second date).

    And I can sort through leads while I’m working.

    Of course, to each his own, and every city is different (where I live, girls don’t really go out to bars alone or to meet guys).

    • Yeah, I can see the major appeal in places where dating is scarce. If that was the case, I’d be extremely motivated to work my way out to greener pastures though.

  6. Goldmund, as a Sigma, how would you classify an Omega and a Gamma male, as it relates to women and life in general? I consider myself to be more of an Omega than anything else.

    • Haven’t thought about it much, but I do tend to get along well with people who are considered outsiders and are on the strange side.

      I’d say find some niche that you are really interested in (that doesn’t involve video games or anything that puts you in isolation), and get really, really good at it–work your way to the top.

      There are groupies for everything under the sun–win an ice sculpture competition or build the world’s coolest light box and get some fame.

  7. “Plus it doesn’t help to have the attitude “well, its your loss, guess you don’t want to have an exciting time and good sex!””

    Did you mean to say “it doesn’t HURT to have…”?

  8. Pingback: Realness, Rollcall, Comradery - Days of Game

  9. Hey Goldmund,

    I can feel you.
    I personally have set out to cold approach, seduce and ultimately fuck random girls: rejections are 1000 times more likely than success, and it doesn’t really seem to get better with time, beside becoming more apt at screening them out.
    Very often, I can approach 20 girls and go nowhere, and on other nights approach 2 and get laid. It’s stocastical. One can only be as attractive as he can and get out there.
    The “normal” guy might seem even “better” at this just because he “seduces” girls already open to him (social circle, etc..), so the rejection/laying ratio in much smaller. It is something to be accepted, and even thoughtfulluy consider.
    Last, one obstacle I’ve found is that when you meet lots of gals, you become super selective, so you don’t settle for anybody less than ideal. Maybe is a good thing. Or it isn’t?

    Cheers

    R

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